Dads who come out of their caves learn to care about their communities. They are like the dad connected to the virtuous woman in Prov. 31: “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land” (23, ESV). To sit by the city gates was to sit among the civic leaders: listening, discussing problems, … Read More
Hero-Dads Avoid Isolation
“I knew he loved me… but he would lock himself away.” I’ve heard many versions of this in my pastoral ministry over the years and it’s a real problem. Batman may do some of his best work in his cave, but hero-dads need to think through the healthy and unhealthy parts of isolation– including our legitimate need for solitude, quietness, … Read More
Snapshots of Father Involvement
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes … Read More
Cohabitation vs. Marriage in Historical Context
Although the primary culture shift that took dads out of the home dates back to 1760 and the Industrial Revolution, in North America, changes in attitudes toward marriage are more recent, dating back to the 1960s. During this time, our culture began to aggressively delink sex from marriage and parenting. Further, even the sacred ties between marriage and parenting began … Read More
A Helpful Mirror for Social Conservatives
“Conservatives have nothing to say to the kid whose dad has split, whose mom has had three other kids with different dads; ‘go live in a nuclear family’ is really not relevant advice. If only a minority of households are traditional nuclear families, that means the majority are something else: single parents, never-married parents, blended families, grandparent-headed families, serial partnerships, … Read More
Learning from Eowyn
“Each of us is born with a box of matches inside us but we can’t strike them all by ourselves.” Laura Esquivel “The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.” Ferdinand Foch Much that I’ve struggled to articulate and steal back about God’s view of women and raising daughters is captured in an intriguing scene involving … Read More
The Father Wound: Defined & Illustrated
It has been said that each one of us comes into the world with a hole in our heart the shape of our dad. And when this hole is not filled, the void is often referred to as “the father wound.” Here’s how I defined it on a project I did for the Bureau of Justice Assistance when I was … Read More
Understanding Father Absence as One of Our Most Serious Social Problems
“The supreme test of any civilization is whether it can socialize men by teaching them to be fathers.” Margaret Meade Father absence refers to the fact that there are now 18.4 million children, 1 in 4, who are growing up in homes without their biological, step, or adoptive father in the home.[1] Tragically, father absence affects minorities disproportionally, especially the … Read More
Love’s Fiery Passion, Part 1 of 2
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, … Read More
The Power of the Father Wound
Michael Jackson was one of the most talented performers who ever lived. His personal life also contributed to his status as a global sensation. He was born on August 29, 1958 and died on June 25, 2009 at just fifty-one years old. Many called him “Wacko Jacko,” and whether they were deserved or not, there were many other such nicknames … Read More