“Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.” -Mark 6:34, NLT
We just picked up the bundle of cuteness above this week! Domino, as we’ve named her, has been a welcome distraction as I’ve continued to wrestle with the question, “What does meaningful vocation and ministry look like in this season?” As I’ve actively waited, listened, and tried to respond to any light that comes each day, God’s provided insight and direction—sometimes in profound ways. A case in point is the counselor I’ve been seeing who recently helped me turn my attention to Jesus.
He pointed out that, in the gospels, Jesus did three things. First, he saw people. When you think about it, we wouldn’t even be reading about Zachaeus, the blind man, Jarius’s daughter, or the huge crowd above if Jesus didn’t first see them. And this is no small thing for us to consider, as contempt is one of the signature features of our age. In a recent discussion on the Good Faith podcast with Curtis Change, Andy Crouch defined contempt as “an attitude toward people that says this person is beneath my consideration: their dignity is beneath my consideration, their interests are beneath my consideration. They have disqualified themselves by something about them from my demonstrating regard for [or seeing] their humanity.”[1] Not so with Jesus. He not only saw others, he did so in a way that, second, showed compassion. And, third, he engaged with them. It is only then, in some instances—not all (Matt. 19:22; Mark 6:5), that he helped them.
My counselor went on to make his point: This is what it means to be a Christian anywhere. Being a carpenter doesn’t inhibit this. His words have been a weighty and encouraging reminder these past few weeks. There is no job that I do or place that I go where Jesus’ example doesn’t apply. And it’s the same for you. We can always see people more deeply, look at them with compassion, and engage. We can defy our culture of contempt and choose to live counter-culturally.
How we then help or don’t help plays out differently, and this was even true for Jesus. He didn’t help everyone (Matt. 19:22; Mark 6:5), nor did he always use all the resources that were available to him. I remember my mom playing a song when I was growing up with the lyric “He could have called ten thousand angels to destroy the world and set Him free…,” referring to the choices Jesus could have made as the God-man.
Who, how, and when God chooses to help are actions or inactions laden with mystery, but helping effectively is also challenging and complicated for mere humans. Here’s why:
- Helping—or trying to do so—can be a waste. Jesus himself said. “Don’t cast your pearls before swine,” or don’t give what is valuable to people who don’t appreciate it. God gives fruit in seasons (Psa. 1:3), and there are some seasons where what we have to give or say is not needed, valued, or appreciated. This may be tough to think or pray through, and—at the very least—it should make us share less, not more, of our true thoughts and feelings on social media.
- Helping isn’t always safe. In some cases, individuals and families have had to learn this the hard way. We’re talking here about “tough love,” heart-wrenching, and necessary decisions that need to be made, like in an instance where a loved one involved in addiction continues to steal or becomes violent. These are times when love requires that we set hard boundaries and stop or limit our help.
- Over-helping can lead to enabling. If a parent dresses their toddler for too long, they won’t learn to dress themselves. If a church continues to pay someone’s bills without providing financial counseling or accountability, a person may never learn to budget or live within their means.
- Helping often requires humility—seeing yourself as needing help—on the part of the recipient. It’s hard to help someone who doesn’t want help. Sometimes all we can do is make ourselves available, wait for a crisis or to be asked, and cry out, “Lord, have mercy!” And that’s because…
- Only God knows the key to someone’s heart and can change it. Although we live in illusions to the contrary, we don’t and can’t.
- We are creatures of dust with limited time, resources, and strength. I can live as a creature of time, but—unlike God—I can’t make anything beautiful in it (Eccl. 3:11). I can still recall a special song my mom shared and I can still call her, but—unlike Jesus—I can’t call ten thousand angels (Matt. 26:53). Or to say it differently, I might be able to afford a labrador puppy but I’m far from owning the cattle on a thousand hills (Psa. 50:10). And as far as strength, gratefully, I can call on a gracious and all-powerful God anytime (Heb. 4:16), but I get daily reminders of my own lack and limits.
But seeing, feeling compassion, and engaging—choosing to defy our culture of contempt—is something you and I can always do. These are the simplest ways to follow Jesus and love like he loved. In our various ministries and vocations, if there is ever any water to be turned into wine, that is his job, not ours. The best we can ever do is listen to his voice and fill the pots.
[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7-twPbIV5Q