To read part 1, click here.
Theodore John’s Grand Entrance!
As we continued our conversation and got to the climax of the story, Emily wanted to make it clear that she and Josh had had a great relationship with the doctor who had presented her with the abortion option: “He was the same doctor who told us our first baby had no heartbeat. He visited us soon after Theo was born and joyfully asked what we had named our son. I responded, ‘His name is Theodore John. Theodore means, ‘gift from God.’”
“That he is,” their doctor responded.
After Theo’s birth, he had an ultrasound of his brain and then at 6 months, another MRI. He was followed closely for development and vision impairments. No news came from any of the imaging, and the neurologist chalked it up to being a “normal anomaly.” This gave some reassurance, but we would still just have to wait and see.
A Child “Perfect” Against Many Odds
Theo is now six. He just finished kindergarten. He loves numbers and math– especially multiplication. He loves talking about electricity and electronics. He loves to sing and build things. He’s an intense little boy, but very deep and caring. His teachers adore him. Fascinated by how things work, he loves taking things apart and fixing them. As he was learning to talk, he would often cry out, “It wewks!”
His eyesight has been perfect, and he’s been on track developmentally, although his speech was a little delayed early on, which could be related to being born a preemie.
Emily and Josh’s son– Pam and my grandson– is truly a child who was and is perfect against many odds.
As we continued talking about how far Theo had come, my daughter pulled out a journal where she had captured some of her third-trimester memories. As I combed through her various entries, three stood out especially:
- “Every week is totally different with aches, pains, heartburn, and other things associated with getting ‘bigger.’”
- “Worry is a choice and doesn’t make my baby any healthier or fuse brain ventricles back together.”
- “What I liked about my upbringing was that I always felt safe and loved.”
As we finished our lunch, Emily paused to gather her thoughts and summed up the settled place she had come to regarding her Theo: “This child is and always will be in God’s hands, the best place he could possibly be.”
I share all this to remind each one of us that, as Roland Warren, President of Care Net, often says, “Life decisions require life support.” Abortion doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens most often when women feel alone, terrified, and unsupported. Indeed, 60% of women who chose abortion reported that they would have preferred to give birth if they had more emotional or financial support.
From an early age, my daughter felt “safe and loved.” Her husband, Josh, made her feel that way, too. And her faith reminded her that God would never abandon her or her son.
“Looking back, it was a time clouded by anxiety and chasing our tails. Thank God the outcome was much better than anything I could have hoped or imagined. I felt held by God in that time, and the support I had and have always had made abortion not even a thought in my head, even if we were facing the worst-case scenario of having a son with severe disabilities.”