It was a cool morning in August 2005, and Johan Otter, 44, and his daughter Jenna, 18, were only 90 minutes into their morning hike in Montana’s Glacier Mountain National Park when it happened. Apparently in an effort to protect her cubs, a huge female grizzly suddenly appeared on the trail running straight toward them! Jenna was knocked aside, suffering only minor injuries. Johan, however, was a different story. Hoping the bear would stay focused on him rather than his daughter, he bore the brunt of the bear’s attack so that “essentially the bear scalped him, and Johan was left with 20 wounds, including broken ribs and a fractured eye socket. Doctors said that if the bear had applied just a bit more pressure on his head, the bear’s fangs would have penetrated his brain. Also, he suffered what’s called a ‘hangman’s fracture’—a fracture of the C2 vertebrae [the most feared]—which is usually fatal.”[1] Johan said later, “[Death] was not going to be an option that day. I had to protect my daughter.”[2]
This story gives a dramatic glimpse of the hero-dad and what it means to love our children well. Most good dads would give their lives for their kids. And many good men do give their lives every day in small, seemingly insignificant ways.
Below are five “I’s” that flesh out the ideal father of the ancient Near East (ANE), and first-century world of the Bible. These also represent the biblical concepts that helped me the most in raising Matthew, Tim, and Emily:
- Hero-dads are involved in the daily routine of their kid’s lives.
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deut. 6:6-9, NIV)
It was the Industrial Revolution that took many fathers out of the home. In the ANE and for most of history, most moms and dads worked together on the family farm or business with their kids. Note the “involvement” images above:
- Sitting
- Walking
- Lying down
- Getting up
Kids still spell love T.I.M.E., both quality and quantity. And don’t forget the importance of play. Thankfully, although some face incredibly difficult parenting challenges and life certainly has its touch patches, it’s not all fighting grizzlies!
- Hero-dads are intentional about passing on their faith. Looking at the Deut. 6 again, note the “intentional” images related to passing on faith:
- Impress
- Talk about
- Tie
- Bind
- Write
These verbs also reflect an intensity that flows from a dad’s heart for God (see again v. 6: “on your hearts”). Having a heart for God is not about being perfect, never failing, or having to ask forgiveness. It means, rather, you’ve come to know the love, mercy, and full acceptance of God revealed most fully in Jesus Christ (Jn. 3:16).
- Hero-dads avoid isolation. “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” (Prov. 18:1) Of course, it’s human nature to hide and blame but men, especially, are drawn toward our caves. Often, I’ve hidden or withdrawn from relationships to avoid stress or because I feel misunderstood, under-appreciated, or depressed. Whatever my excuses (barring rest which is a legitimate reason to withdrawal at times), this verse has been a mercy from God to help me see that my proclivity to isolate is often a selfish and foolish choice.
- Hero-dads care about and grow in competence to influence. They are like the dad connected to the virtuous woman in Prov. 31: “Her husband [also the father of her children] is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land” (23, ESV). To sit by the city gates was to sit among the civic leaders: listening, discussing problems, and making decisions that impacted the community. Good dads care about people and influencing the world—especially that small world of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. They learn, read, and work with others not just for personal enrichment and enjoyment, but because they genuinely love others. Further, they show that love by their actions, not just their words.
- Hero-dads imitate God, the ultimate father, who cares about the needs of his children, gives them good gifts, and will love them forever:
- “But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (Jn. 1:12. NLT)
- And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:19, NLT)
- “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. (Matt. 7:9-11, NLT)
- “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17, NIV)
- And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 8:38-39, NLT)
[1] “Father Bears Brunt of Grizzly Attack to Protect Daughter,” ABC News, September 14, 2005, accessed November 14, 2016, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnlyinAmerica/story?id=1124199.
[2] Ibid.