Hi Friends, I just released the Updated & Expanded 2021 Edition of my book How I Became a Christian Despite the Church! Would you kindly consider sharing a copy with a friend or loved one, and/or helping me get the word out on social media?

Indeed, healing and better answers can be found on the other side of toxic faith and abuse!

 The 2019 “Unchurched Report” by the Billy Graham Center Institute and Lifeway Research found that a little over “a third of the people who used to attend church” now stay away specifically because they “lost trust in God, the church, or Christians.” And is it any wonder?

The church can be a mess and—worse—a real source of misery. I know. I’ve experienced it. There are tons of hypocrites and even dangerous wolves in sheep’s clothing… Many who rail against “the godless,” but are strangely drawn to conspiracy theories and lies… Lots of folks that are afraid of mainstream science and of learning from “secular” people. It often amazes me that those who listen, read, and study the least often have the strongest opinions about the questions that trouble us most.

How I Became a Christian Despite the Church is my story of finding God despite the isolated, fear-based, cult-like culture that my parents were part of. It’s the story of how my childhood pastor and his despotic wife terrorized and abused their foster children, as well as others.

Shame, abuse, and especially distorted views of sex are a big part of my story. As is sorting out beliefs, emotions, desires, and actions to relearn how to be human. Amidst the macabre and the dissonance, however, you’ll also find refrains of hope, a reasonable faith, and love.

Unlike many popular deconversion stories, I’ve tried my best to avoid this kind of formula:

• “Step 1: Recount the Negatives of Your Fundamentalist Past
• Step 2: Position Yourself as the Offended Party Who Bravely Fought the Establishment
• Step 3: Portray Your Opponents as Overly Dogmatic While You Are Just a Seeker
• Step 4: Insist Your New Theology Is Driven by the Bible and Is Not a Rejection of It
• Step 5: Attack the Character of Your Old Group and Uplift the Character of Your New Group”

My goal is rather to handle scripture responsibly, own my stuff, and avoid villainizing everybody else but me. Ultimately the book is designed—without compromising honesty and depth—to show the beauty of biblical faith and to build up rather than tear down. 

At the same time, like many deconversion stories, shame, abuse, and especially distorted views of sex are major themes. If you or someone you love has struggled or suffered in these areas, you’ll find hope and clarity in my story. 

If you’re a skeptic or a seeker, or even if you don’t believe in God, I hope you’ll feel respected as you read this book. And I hope that what follows will challenge, surprise, and inspire you with love and meaning. 

Although the book is a roadmap of healing and growth for all, it’s especially written for those who’ve been grown up in religious environments that have left them empty at best or crushed at worst. If you’re searching for better answers, a cure for pain, this book is sure to:

• facilitate many healing conversations for you. Counseling professionals tell us that even when wounds go deep and there’s trauma involved, healing still boils down to “tears, talking, and time.” 
• fortify your home, guard your family from unhealthy churches, and ensure your personal faith continues strong.